Soothing a crying baby and coping with colic
All babies cry, it's how they communicate, and it often peaks in the first few months. This summarises NHS advice on soothing and on colic.
Why babies cry and working through the checklist
Crying is a baby's primary communication tool. Before a baby has words, before they can point or gesture, crying is the only reliable signal they have that something needs attention. Understanding the most common causes and working through them in a calm, systematic way is the single most useful skill a new parent can develop.
Hunger is the most frequent reason a newborn cries, particularly in the early weeks. Newborns typically need to feed 8 to 12 times in a 24-hour period, which works out to roughly every two to three hours. Their stomach capacity is small and empties quickly, so hunger returns faster than many parents expect. If your baby is crying and their last feed was more than an hour or two ago, offer a feed first before working through other possibilities.
A wet or dirty nappy is uncomfortable for most babies. Check and change promptly. Some babies signal this immediately with a cry; others tolerate a wet nappy for some time before becoming distressed. Either pattern is normal.
Temperature can be easy to misjudge. The NHS advises checking a baby's temperature by feeling their chest or the back of their neck rather than their hands or feet, which are normally cooler than the rest of the body. A baby who feels sweaty or whose chest feels hot may need a layer removed. A baby whose chest feels cool may need an extra layer added. Avoid placing a cot near a radiator or in direct sunlight.
Tiredness is a less obvious cause for new parents. A baby who has been awake and stimulated for longer than their capacity can manage will often cry, and an overtired baby can be harder to settle than one who has simply had enough rest. Newborns are often only able to manage short periods of wakefulness before needing to sleep again. Watching for early tired cues, such as yawning, looking away, or rubbing the eyes, can help you act before crying starts.
Need for close contact and comfort is a legitimate need, not a habit to discourage. Newborns arrive from an environment of constant warmth, sound, and movement. Close physical contact with a caregiver meets a genuine developmental need and does not spoil a young baby. Responding promptly and consistently to a baby's cries in the early months builds rather than undermines their security.
Pain or discomfort may be the cause if the other checklist items have been addressed. Trapped wind is common, particularly after feeds. Reflux, where stomach contents flow back into the oesophagus, can cause discomfort in some babies. In older babies from around four to seven months, teething can begin to cause gum soreness. Pain cries often sound higher-pitched or more urgent than hunger or discomfort cries.
Overstimulation from a busy or noisy environment can cause some babies to become distressed. Moving to a quieter, dimmer room and reducing the number of people handling your baby can sometimes settle things quickly. Working through this checklist calmly and systematically, rather than jumping to the assumption of colic, will resolve most crying episodes.
Soothing techniques that can help
No single technique works for every baby, and what settles your baby one day may not work the next. Having a range of approaches to try is more useful than committing to a single method.
Skin-to-skin contact is one of the most well-supported approaches for calming a distressed newborn. Holding a baby against bare skin helps regulate their temperature, heart rate, and breathing, and triggers the release of calming hormones in both the baby and the caregiver. Skin-to-skin is not limited to the mother. Partners, grandparents, and other trusted caregivers can all offer this contact with the same benefit to the baby.
Gentle rhythmic motion is calming for many babies because it echoes the movement they experienced in the womb. Rocking in your arms, a slow walk in a pram, or a short car journey can all help. Keeping the motion steady and rhythmic rather than jerky is more likely to settle a distressed baby. If your arms are tired, a baby carrier or sling that holds your baby securely against your body can provide the same contact and gentle movement while freeing your hands.
Sound plays a significant role in newborn soothing. Babies are born accustomed to the constant sound of blood flowing through the placenta, which is loud in the womb. Sudden quiet can feel startling rather than calming. Soft, repetitive sounds such as gentle shushing close to the baby's ear, low background music, or white noise can replicate that familiar sensory environment. The volume should be no louder than a normal conversation, and white noise should not be used at high volume for extended periods.
A warm bath can relax a tense or uncomfortable baby. The warmth and water contact can interrupt a crying cycle and shift their attention. Make sure the water temperature is comfortable, around 37 to 38 degrees Celsius, and never leave a baby unattended in the bath for any reason.
Feeding is worth trying even if you do not think hunger is the cause. Non-nutritive suckling, the act of feeding beyond full hunger, is soothing in itself. If you are breastfeeding, offering the breast for comfort as well as nutrition is entirely appropriate.
A dummy is acknowledged by the NHS as a legitimate soothing option. There is some evidence that dummy use may be associated with a slightly reduced risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) during sleep in the first six months, though the mechanism is not fully understood. There is no obligation to use a dummy. If you choose to offer one, introduce it after breastfeeding is established, typically around four to six weeks, to avoid interfering with latch and supply.
Baby massage with gentle strokes on the back and tummy can ease wind and general discomfort, and the touch itself is calming. Stroke downward on the back in a smooth, rhythmic motion. For wind relief, gentle clockwise circles on the tummy, following the direction of the digestive tract, can help move trapped gas. Use a small amount of baby-safe oil and check that your hands are warm before you start.
Understanding colic
Colic is a term used when a baby cries intensely and frequently for no identifiable reason in an otherwise healthy baby who is feeding and growing well. The commonly cited threshold is crying for more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for more than three weeks. Not every case fits this pattern exactly, and the label is often used more loosely to describe a phase of prolonged, hard-to-explain crying in early infancy.
Colic typically begins in the first few weeks of life and peaks around six to eight weeks of age. For most families, it resolves substantially by three to four months, as the digestive system matures and babies become better able to self-regulate. This timeline can feel impossibly long in the thick of it, but knowing there is a natural endpoint is genuinely useful.
The exact cause of colic is not known. Various theories have been proposed over the years, including gut immaturity, gas, an imbalance in gut bacteria, sensitivity to proteins in breast milk or formula, and neurological overstimulation. No single explanation has been consistently supported by research, which is why no single remedy works for every baby.
According to NHS guidance, no treatment is consistently proven to resolve colic. What may help some babies includes: holding and offering extra physical comfort throughout the crying spell rather than putting the baby down; gentle tummy massage in slow clockwise circles; laying the baby face-down along your forearm or across your lap with light, steady pressure on their tummy; and experimenting with feeding position if you are breastfeeding, as some positions allow more air to be swallowed than others.
If you are formula feeding, it is not recommended to switch formula without speaking to a GP first. There is no reliable evidence that switching to a different formula resolves colic in most babies.
A baby who is crying persistently should be seen by a GP or health visitor, even if colic seems the most likely explanation. This is because other conditions, including gastro-oesophageal reflux, cow's milk protein intolerance, and urinary tract infection, can present in a similar way and may need specific treatment. Do not assume colic without ruling out other causes first.
Looking after yourself as a parent
Persistent intense crying is one of the most challenging experiences any parent can face. There is nothing abstract about it. The combination of sleep deprivation, the physical demands of caring for a newborn, and the distress of being unable to settle your baby creates genuine psychological and emotional strain. Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or exhausted is a normal and understandable response to something that is genuinely hard, not a sign of poor parenting or inadequate love for your baby.
If you feel you are reaching the end of your resources, the most important thing to do is put your baby safely in their cot, on their back, and step out of the room for a short break. This is not abandonment. It is a responsible act that keeps your baby safe while you take the time you need to regain composure. Taking a few minutes to breathe, make a cup of tea, or sit outside is far safer than continuing to hold a baby while in a state of extreme frustration.
Never shake a baby. Shaking a baby, even briefly, can cause serious and permanent brain injury. It can also cause blindness and death. Shaken baby syndrome (now more commonly referred to as abusive head trauma) can result from a few seconds of shaking. No matter how distressed you feel, putting your baby down and stepping away is always the right choice.
Asking for help is not a failure. Hand the baby to a partner, family member, or trusted friend and take a break. If you are managing alone, call someone. In the UK, the Cry-sis helpline (08451 228 669) provides specific support for parents of crying and sleepless babies and is staffed by volunteers who have been through the same experience. Your health visitor is also an important point of contact. They can assess the situation, rule out medical causes, provide practical advice, and connect you with additional support if needed.
If you are feeling persistently low, anxious, or unable to cope, speak to your GP. Postnatal depression and postnatal anxiety are common, treatable, and not a reflection of your character or your feelings for your baby. Getting help early makes a real difference.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if my baby has colic?
Colic is typically defined as crying for more than 3 hours a day, more than 3 days a week, for more than 3 weeks, in a baby who is otherwise healthy and gaining weight. If you are unsure, speak to your GP or health visitor to rule out other causes.
When does colic peak and when does it stop?
Colic typically peaks around 6-8 weeks of age and usually resolves by 3-4 months. It can feel relentless in the moment, but the vast majority of cases clear up as the digestive system matures.
Is it safe to put my baby down and take a short break?
Yes. If you feel overwhelmed, it is safe to place your baby in their cot on their back and leave the room for a few minutes. Making sure you are calm before returning is better for both of you. Never shake a baby.
When should I call the doctor about crying?
Contact your GP or NHS 111 if your baby has a high-pitched or unusual cry that sounds different from normal, if crying comes with fever, if your baby is not feeding, appears pale or limp, or if you are worried for any reason. Trust your instincts.
Spot the pattern
Logging feeds, sleep and nappies in Cubby can help you (and the nanny) see what tends to settle your baby, and share the day.
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